I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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