i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
