You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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