Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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