I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize