You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
