Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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