My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
