Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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