I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
