...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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