it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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