My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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