I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
