I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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