That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
