I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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