After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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