This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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