so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
