I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
