I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
