haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
