sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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