Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
