I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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