I hate your face
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
