If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
