i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
