are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
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Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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