oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
