I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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