the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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