i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
