Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
