I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
