I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
only you would photoshop your dick
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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