You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
