I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
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Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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