Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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