He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
