She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
