Can Purell be used as lube?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
