dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
