Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
