I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
