it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
soo... how was my night?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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