Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
