One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
