Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Vodka?
Forever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
