I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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