"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
