Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
