Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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