Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
