dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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