well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
