Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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