Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You made out with two different species that night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
