you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Panties = found
Randomize
