5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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