Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
