3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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