Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
