Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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