4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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