Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
