I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
